Alicia Malone.

“Take Shelter” is one of the best, and creepiest films I’ve seen all year. It’s directed by Jeff Nichols, and stars my new two favourite actors – Jessica Chastain and the always excellent (and tall) Michael Shannon. I made them stand awkwardly in front of a poster at the Toronto International Film Festival so I could talk to them about the movie, and why it didn’t co-star any zombies…

For most independent filmmakers, having their movie premiere at a major film festival would signal a successful near-end of a long slog getting it to the big screen. But for writer/director Dennis Lee, that was just the beginning. Having written his first feature “Fireflies In The Garden” in film school back in 1999, his casting dreams came true when Julia Roberts signed up to star. Then came Ryan Reynolds, Willem Dafoe and many more. The director thought he was finished with “Fireflies” when it premiered at the Berlin Film Festival in 2008, but it took a further three years before it finally got a US release. Turns out, that wasn’t such a bad thing…

ALICIA: So after the Berlin Film Festival, why did it take so long for “Fireflies In The Garden” to get to cinemas here?

DENNIS: 2008 and 2009 happened and it was just…

ALICIA: The economic crisis?

DENNIS: Yeah, it was just bad. A lot of production companies that I admire went under in 2008, including Senator. It was a legal and financial nightmare to try to get this film out from under all that. There were so many times when I said just screw it. We got to move on. We’ve got to get past this piece… and then I would get a call from one of my producers. They were so passionate that whenever one of us felt down, the other person would pick that person up. People ask what’s the production company putting it out or distribution company? Well, we are. We are the one’s doing it.

ALICIA: Are you excited to get it out to a US audience?

DENNIS: I’m really excited to get this film out. Somebody asked me how you feel about the long delay, and I think I’m just blessed because the cut that went out to Berlin and internationally was a cut that was rushed. It was rushed and compromised in too many ways. I’ve haven’t been prepped on what to say or what not to say during these things…

ALICIA: So… you felt pressure to make it in a certain way?

DENNIS: I felt a lot of pressure to make it a certain way, and then I also was just – I didn’t feel proud of the film. It something that I enjoy in terms of watching it, and so when this opportunity came around for the States release, the domestic release here, the opportunity also came to re-cut the movie, and that was awesome.

ALICIA: That’s a rare thing for a filmmaker to be able to recut once it’s already been to an audience and critics.

DENNIS: Just to bring it closer to the director’s cut. I mean there are certain limitations financially because it takes a lot of money to re-cut an entire film, but we were able to work around a lot of those limitations or work within those limitations to get a cut that the producers and I really felt that was what we wanted four years ago.

ALICIA: What was missing from the first cut do you think that’s in the second cut now?

DENNIS: Clarity was missing and emotion. Wow, can I say this?

ALICIA: Go for it!

DENNIS: When you get a certain cast for a smaller movie then the animal of the movie changes, the expectations for the movie changes, not in your eyes, not in the directors’ eyes but in your financiers

ALICIA: If its a ‘Julia Roberts film’, then there is an expectation of a certain box office…

DENNIS: Yeah, exactly, and no matter how much you may remind them it’s not a Julia Roberts film, it’s an ensemble film and this is an orange that you’ve been given and the scripts an orange.

ALICIA: And I’m sure she did it because she wanted to do an independent film…

DENNIS: She always said she wanted to do an independent movie like this and then the product that gets released international turns out to be an apple. It’s disappointing. The fact that the film’s been delayed four years here is just a blessing. It’s closer to what we all envisioned coming out. I’m just thankful.

ALICIA: What are your hopes for this movie? Is it more about getting it released, and some closure?

DENNIS: For me, it is, yeah. The hopes for this movie for me are just one, it’s closure and two, I hope people enjoy it. I hope they can relate to it in some way or another. Movies like this don’t get made anymore. There was back in the day you could count on these and things like that, but family dramas don’t get made, and this is not a movie about big hooks or huge set pieces or it’s not an idea concept film.

ALICIA: It’s not a franchise or based on a toy or a sequel or a prequel…

DENNIS: It’s just an honest film, and I hope people relate to that honesty in some way. That’s it.

ALICIA: Cool. Thank you very much.

To read the rest of the interview, click through to Moviehole

At the Toronto International Film Festival, I went along to the premiere of “Drive”, where I couldn’t help expressing my love for this gritty thriller.

As much as I dislike the idea of remakes, I have to admit, dammit, the new “Footloose” was a lot of fun. Here’s some of my interviews with the cast:

In the first of a series of profiles on up and coming directors, I chat to former dancer Abe Sylvia, whose feature film “Dirty Girl” is now out in US cinemas. I’m always amazed at the dedication first time filmmakers need to get their movie out into the world, and with “Dirty Girl” it took many years of hard work, a passionate team, and just a little luck.

ALICIA MALONE: How hard is it to get a movie made?

ABE SYLVIA: It’s hard. That’s the short answer. You want to make sure that you align yourself with the right people who see your movie in the same way, but things obviously fall apart a million times along the way. That first day of shooting is kind of like, I can’t believe we’re actually doing this.

ALICIA: Were there many times you thought it wasn’t going to happen?

ABE: Yeah, everyday. We were green lit a couple of times before it finally came together and that was over a few years and then we were casting this movie ostensibly for 2½ years. It got to a point where I stopped being hopeful about it. I was like I will just do it and I will work hard but I don’t believe it’s happening. I’ll have my day job and when it happens, call me. You kind of have to psychologically disassociate… it just becomes too painful.

ALICIA: You had a great reaction in Toronto last year.

ABE: Yes, absolutely.

ALICIA: Is it correct that within 20 minutes the deal with The Weinstein Company was pretty much done?

ABE: It was starting to go, yes. We had these people watching the movie through the end and outside in the food court at the mall, the deal was getting done and I had no idea because I was just watching the movie. It was the first time I saw the movie with an audience ever. Two days before I was finishing the print and we got on the plane and plugged it in and it was surreal like, two days before I was on the mix, so to suddenly then have 600 people in Toronto watching your film, industry people. It was surreal and slightly out of body.
I was a dancer for years and it took almost 10 years from the time I said I’m not doing this anymore, I’m going to be a filmmaker… and now Harvey (Weinstein) is putting my movie out. It’s really exciting.

ALICIA: Coming from the dancing world, I would think you be more inclined to act. What was it about directing that really got your attention?

ABE: I had been an actor, a singer and a dancer… all those things and what I realized quickly when I became a professional, was that once the show was up, it was less interesting. I realized when I became a professional what I loved was production. I didn’t actually love performing. My mind kind of started to wander as I was in these shows and I started writing on my own and those ideas slowly took on an importance that couldn’t be ignored. It was like, I think my script is actually good, I think what I’m doing is really good and I need to follow this and every chorus boy has a script and it was like I’m going to have to go learn my craft if I really want to do this. So I dropped out of life and went to school.

ALICIA: Wow, that’s great, so you could learn from the ground up what you need to do?

ABE: Yeah, and actually a lot of dancers become filmmakers. In fact, Rob Marshall and I had the same role in Cats, 15 years apart and he came to give this talk at UCLA when “Chicago” came out and I was in film school there. He told this story about the moment he knew like he was doing the wrong thing with his life. He was like, “I was in Cats.” And I was like, “I was in Cats too.” So he was doing this hand stand on the back of the car, I was like, “I did the hand stand.” And I wanted to shout “I totally get you!” … everyone’s been stuck in a moment. Not only was I stuck, I was in the same position… in the wig!

ALICIA: What particular films or directors inspired you when you were making this movie?

ABE: Well this particular movie is a mash up of a lot of things that I love and it’s definitely a movie that loves other movies. We’ve got our Richard Gere Officer and a Gentleman ending, and we have our road hitchhiker who breaks hearts. But my influences are really foreign films. Pedro Almodovar is my hero, his ability to put camp next to melodrama, next to something that is emotional and then fill it with music and dance and color. That’s what I want to do. I love what Baz Luhrmann does and the movies out of Australia in the 90s. And when I finally went to film school and saw Fellini’s movies, I was like, “Oh, that’s it.” Because I bring a theatrical sensibility to my filmmaking and a lot of, I think a lot of American films have lost that sense of theatricality. It’s like we don’t want our performance to feel like a performance and I’m like, “Why the hell not?”

ALICIA: And that’s exactly what Baz Luhrmann does really well.

ABE: I come from musicals where the whole idea is that you’re laughing your ass off and then somebody sings a ballad and you cry. It’s like what do you mean that doesn’t translate to film? It is American, it’s just American films they want things to be a little bit more homogenized.

ALICIA: I love the story about getting Christine Vachon on board as producer… Is it true you were reading her book at the time?

ABE: Yeah, when I was still a performer I was on the set of Bedazzled, the Brendan Fraser movie. I was a dancing extra with Elizabeth Hurley and my roommate, Craig Gartner who’s now my manager gave me… he knew I wanted to be a filmmaker but it’s sort of pie in the sky and he gave me Shooting to Kill, Christine’s book. I took it with me to set and I read it on set that day between takes. I came out of there knowing that I knew it was what I wanted to do, I just didn’t know and that book told me how and it really inspired me. Not only is it a goal worth having, it’s actually a realistic goal.

ALICIA: You must have been pinching yourself when you were actually working with her. It sounds like you put out to the universe and it all just happened to make it true.

ABE: Her work always resonated with me for a reason. So it’s probably not an accident that my work resonates with her, that she would be attracted to my stuff too. It’s pretty mind blowing.

ALICIA: To people reading this article who might want be filmmakers and look to you for inspiration, what would you say to them?

ABE: I would say don’t take no for an answer, because there’s always somebody else who could say yes. Learn your craft, know everybody’s job. You can’t just rely on your DP, you’ve got to know the ins and out of every job on that set, especially for an independent film. You can’t underestimate the value of an on set education, whether you get that at film school or whether you get that as a PA volunteering, you’ve got to know everybody’s job.

ALICIA: Work hard and it can happen.

ABE: Yeah, absolutely.

Check out the trailer for “Dirty Girl” below!

(I seem to have an alarming amount of pro-Gosling blogs on my website. I’m not obsessed. I swear! This is an excerpt from a story I wrote which ran in Filmink Magazine’s October issue. Thought I’d share it ahead of the film’s release in Australia, for more, pick up the magazine on sale now.)

Producer/star Steve Carell and man-of-the-moment Ryan Gosling speak about their smart new romantic comedy, ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love’.

Crazy, Stupid, Love is a romantic comedy about soul mates and second chances. It centres on forty-something Cal (Steve Carell), who, on the brink of divorce, gets a makeover and a new lease on life from young lothario, Jacob (Ryan Gosling). Jacob steps in to (begrudgingly) help this sad stranger when Cal’s moaning begins to ruin his time with the ladies at their local bar. One of the few girls to resist Jacob’s charms is Hannah (Emma Stone), a law student stuck in a boring relationship.

It was the smart script which first made Gosling’s toes tap, but the major draw to the dance floor was the chance to work with Steve Carell, not just as a co-star, but also as producer. “I thought that producing was the next logical step for me, and it was fun,” explains Carell. “This is our first movie for the production company [Carousel Productions], and I liked having a hand in hiring directors and great, great actors. When I met with Ryan, I just felt lucky that he would be intrigued enough to want to jump in on this. It was rewarding in that context.”

Gosling (who has moved effortlessly between commercial hits like The Notebook and acclaimed indies including Half Nelson and Blue Valentine) first met Steve Carell years ago when they worked on a pilot for a TV show called The Unbelievables. “We had no scenes together, but Steve was so funny that one time the boom guy dropped the boom to laugh during a take,” Gosling smiles at the memory. “I was on set just to watch Steve. He and Tim Curry were doing a scene where they were villains and they’re trying to get Superman to do a book signing, so they can finally get him… Steve was just so funny.” Carell shakes his head and looks at Gosling in amazement. “I can’t believe that you remembered that,” he laughs.

Of course, Carell is a master of improvisation, and the funniest moments in Crazy, Stupid, Love were adlibbed, including many scenes that he shares with Gosling. “Ryan is a great improviser,” says Carell. “He improvises within character and on story, on point. In a lot of movies, people just improvise to try to say something that they hope will be in the film. It’s different when someone can improvise from their character’s point of view, and within a scene. That’s so much fun. My battle was to not laugh because he was always surprising.”

Gosling looks over Carell. “You taught me about ‘set-funny,’” he says. “When you do things that are funny on set, but they’re not really funny in the context of the movie. You told me that it’s easy to fall into this trap of being ‘set-funny.’ That was really good advice.”

Joining Gosling, Carell and Stone in the cast of Crazy, Stupid, Love is an impressive list of names, including Julianne Moore, Emma Stone, Marisa Tomei and Kevin Bacon. Carell says that the script attracted the cast, as well as his choice of directors. “When John Requa and Glenn Ficarra [I Love You Phillip Morris] came on board, they set a tone as to what the movie was going to be and what we wanted to achieve with it,” he offers. “I liked the fact that they were able to multitask. For example, after a take, one of the directors might have given the actors notes, while the other might have given the camera or lighting crew notes. It was nice to have two sets of eyes on everything, and two interpretations that were both coming from the same perspective. It broadened my horizons as an actor.”

“It’s less stressful too,” adds Gosling. “That’s what we needed in order to feel that we could put ourselves out there. In these bar scenes, it’s supposed to be night, and we’re supposed to be drunk, but it’s 8:00am, there’s no music, we’re yelling, pretending like there’s music, and everyone expects us to be funny. It was pretty scary sometimes.”

Another frightening prospect for Gosling was the pressure of a certain shirtless scene. “I re-read the script, and there’s a line where Emma’s character says to me, ‘You look Photoshopped.’ I was like, ‘Wait a second…oh, no!’ I trained with the same guy who worked with Chris Hemsworth for Thor. I thought that I was doing well until he showed me a picture of Chris, and I was the size of his arm. I was in this competition in my head with Chris. But as you build muscles, you start to realise how ridiculous they are. They’re just kind of goofy. You get them from doing a lot of one thing, lifting a heavy thing in a certain way. You don’t really feel stronger. You just develop these bumps on your body,” Gosling laughs.

I chatted to the funny cast of “30 Minutes or Less” about looking good on black carpets and how hard it is to find an original comedy script…

Glancing at the hundreds of people lining the red carpet for Toronto’s Drive premiere, I noticed 90% were female.
“I love your dress!” yelled one young girl to me, “Will you send Ryan Gosling our way after you interview him? We love him!”
“Sure!” I laughed, “And you do the same if you get him first!”
Suddenly, like some loud high-pitched Mexican wave, screams started from the front of the line and quickly spread to the back, my ears vibrating with the sound of pure female excitement. He had arrived.

Mention the name Ryan Gosling to any hot-blooded female and she will invariably sigh, her eyes clouding over as she recalls the following scene from The Notebook…

Gosling has the type of dreamy Hollywood looks a lazier actor would merely cash in on – he could make a very decent living starring in cheesy rom com after cheesy rom com. Thankfully, he seems intent on pushing himself, making interesting choices across all genres and collaborating with directors to help their small films get to the big screen. Speaking with Gosling recently for Australia’s Filmink Magazine, the actor told me he has “more opportunities now than I used to and maybe a little more control of the final product or who’s involved. But it’s not like it’s conscious, I’m not trying to tackle all the genres,” explaining he chooses his roles like, “if a song comes on and you just have to dance. You don’t know what it is about that song that makes you want to dance. It just gets your toe tapping and you have to do it, and that’s been happening to me.”

His latest, the tense action thriller Drive certainly got my toes tapping, and not just because of the great electro-pop soundtrack. In a sea of remakes, sequels, prequels, franchises based on comic books and toys, with loud action scenes and fancy special effects, this quiet film really stands out. The tension is heightened by the absence of dialogue, and surprisingly one of the most heart pounding action scenes has no music at all. It’s not the ideal film for crackly movie snacks.

Having just chatted to director Nicolas Winding Refn, I waited patiently in my red carpet position for Mr Gosling to make his way down the line of reporters. The constant chanting “Ry-an! Ry-an! Ry-an!” from fans was almost lulling me into a dream-like state, and one sentence Refn had said kept replaying in my head: “When people talk you think. If they feel it goes straight to the heart.” How true of this film, with the lack of dialogue almost unnerving, particularly in the romantic scenes between Gosling and Carey Mulligan. How many times in films (and life) do we feel the need to fill silences with words, and over-explain ourselves, instead of communicating with emotions? Granted, that may make some situations tricky… I can imagine ordering dinner, for example, would be hard to do just via eye contact.

“But a movie like this didn’t need to have dialogue,” Refn explained, “it’s much more interesting when people don’t talk, because it’s unpredictable what’s going to happen. So just telling the story through music and visuals, about two people falling in love, and realizing he has to protect her… that was interesting. Ryan has this talent that few actors have, he can say a thousand words without saying a word. He has very bold risk and very bold talent.”

Albert Brooks is better known for his comedic roles, but in Drive, he’s the cold-hearted criminal Bernie Rose. He’s excellent in this role, Oscar-nomination type excellent, but thankfully when he approached me on the red carpet his warm smile showed no hint of that sinister killer. “I was knocked out about how quiet it was,” said Brooks, “in fact there’s a couple of times in the movie where he dumps all audio. There’s no sound of any kind and it’s the most tense moment… you’re thinking what’s going to happen, why did he do that. So I love the way it works for that.” Brooks pauses for a loud group-rehearsed “Ryan! You’re sexy!” from the crowd. “And I love that!” he laughs, turning to smile at Gosling.

Like the screaming girls at the premiere, I first noticed Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. I was dragged to see it by my girl friends, reluctantly because I’m not normally a fan of romantic films. To my surprise, I laughed, I cried, I sighed and swooned. The last time I had cried in a film was during Eight Below when the dogs died. And maybe a teensy bit in Marley & Me with the same situation.

But it was Half Nelson that cemented the idea for me that Ryan was one to watch, with his gripping performance as a drug addicted schoolteacher. Lars And The Real Girl is another favourite Gosling film, a quirky and touching comedy where Ryan’s character is in love with his blow-up doll; and last year’s Blue Valentine with Ryan and Michelle Williams affected me so much, as I left the cinema I vowed never to get married. (But note to any prospective boyfriends or Jake Gyllenhaal if he’s reading this: that could change! Hint, hint)

“Hi Ryan!” I yelled over the screams, “How are you?”
“I’m good,” he smiled and leaned in to hear my question about the script, over the noise of his fans. “The script was very different from the film, I loved the script, but the script was much more authentic to gang culture at the time in Los Angeles where the film was set,” explained Ryan, “When Nicolas and I met we really wanted to make a violent John Hughes movie, and we also wanted to make a fairytale. So we took out all the dialogue and started there, tried to figure out what this movie was. REO Speedwagon came on the radio one day and Nicolas started crying… “ Ryan smiles at the thought, “he saw a vision for the film, and we chased that.”

I managed a (slightly dorky) “Congratulations on Drive, it’s my favourite film of the year!” before Ryan was whisked away to the next reporter, and I noted a faint look of surprise at my comment as he said, “I’m so glad you liked it!”
With my blonde hair and tiny girl voice, I probably don’t appear the gory action thriller loving type.

After Ryan had left to go inside the theatre, I looked over at the girls I had spoken to at the start. They were beaming, checking their photos and holding up their autographed pictures to show me.
“You got him!” I yelled over.
“Yes! And you too!” they yelled back, “He was so nice! We love him even more now!”

****

It’s a week after the Toronto premiere, and Drive has just opened in cinemas in the US. Having been fortunate enough to see it in advance for free, I convinced a bunch of friends to come with me to watch it again, keen not only to see it for the second time, but also to make sure the filmmakers received my money.

During the screening I smiled as I noted my friends squirming in the same spots as I did the first time, enjoying their surprise at the quiet moments, noting their knees bouncing along to the pop soundtrack, and seeing their shock as the film takes a violent turn in the second act.

“That was amazing!” said my friend Chloe after the film, wide-eyed.
“Awesome!” said her husband Nick, admitting “I was suspicious that you just were keen to see it because of Ryan Gosling, but that was great.”
“Incredible!” agreed Philippa and Matteo.
And long after the audience had left and the ushers had finished cleaning, we stood for twenty full minutes outside the theatre dissecting the film. I love that.

If you can, go and watch Drive. You may love it, you may hate it, but either way you will have a reaction and conversation with friends afterwards. Action films and romantic comedy fairytales have their place at the cinema, but we need to vote with our wallets and send a message to Hollywood if we want to see more independent films like Drive. And more starring Mr Gosling. That would of course be very welcome.

For the second time in a few months, I got to interview Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds (lucky me!) who recently starred in “Horrible Bosses” and “Green Lantern”. This time, they were paired together for their body swapping comedy “The Change-Up”. And it was obvious that these two are great friends off screen, as well as on. Check it out!

“Just think, you’ll be halfway to 60!” said my (supposedly) good friend Hema, laughing at my shocked expression.
“Oh my god, 60!” I replied, “My heart jumped into my throat when you said that!”

In a few short days, I’ll be thirty years old. Thirty! When I think of a thirty year old, I think of someone who has her life together. A woman. Possibly with a designer handbag and matching underwear. I looked at my reflection in the clothing store. Messy hair, chipped nail polish, cheap t-shirt, old jeans, broken sunglasses sitting askew, and what was that around my mouth? Oh, cookie crumbs. Of course. As the great Britney Spears once said, “I’m not a girl… not yet a woman.”

I grabbed a briefcase looking Marc Jacobs handbag and office looking black Herve dress off the shelf, and was about to ask Hema if I should buy them because I’m almost thirty, when I remembered that I work from home. And yet… could I pack a lunch and pop on the dress just to walk into my room and pretend it’s an office? The fact that I think that would be fun proves that I am not yet a proper grown-up.

Proper grown-ups know when to schedule dr’s appointments and how to balance checkbooks (what does that involve?) but for me, many simple tasks are immensely complicated, causing my friends to shake their heads and sigh, “Oh Leash.” Like air planes and how early you need to arrive to catch them. And how to have a phone that works overseas. And how to not get lost.

“Ok, so what time is your flight to London again?” asked my friend Kate a few months ago. She was concerned I wouldn’t have enough time to ride a bicycle to the Eiffel Tower, but I was insisting on going. It had been a year since I had been in Paris, and with my schedule only allowing three days; I was determined to pack as much in as I could.
“Flight’s at 4pm. I figure if I leave here at 2pm I should be fine.” I replied, unconcerned.
“Alright just stick by the Seine and you won’t get lost. It’s 12:30 now, you should be back by 1:30 at the latest.”

At 2:15 I arrived back at her apartment, breathlessly explaining how I thought I would take a shortcut back, but having only my terrible sense of direction to guide me, I’d gotten hopelessly lost.

Racing to the train station was made more difficult by my heavy luggage; I had to stop every few steps to change hands. Back home I was proud at myself for only taking a carry-on for three weeks of travel, but now, I really wished I had wheels.

I missed the first train because I spent 20 minutes looking for the ticket booth (and turned a bright shade of red when it was pointed out that it was right behind me), and the train I caught stopped at every single station on the way to Charles de Gaulle. The woman in the seat opposite me looked on with concern at my bouncing leg, how I was chewing my nails, and the way I obsessively looked at the time on my iPhone.

Bursting out of the train, I ran as fast as my over packed bag would allow, and after initially trying to check-in at the wrong kiosk, finally was told I had missed the cut-off time by one minute, and there were no available flights for two days. The Air France ticket sales rep did not even try to contain his laughter as I tearily pleaded that I had to get to London tonight to see Harry Potter, if I didn’t I wouldn’t be able to interview the cast. Yeah, I know, I have real problems and he should have felt sorry for me.

I sat on the airport floor for 10 minutes feeling hopeless, before I kicked myself for being overly dramatic, crawled off the floor, and got back on the train to Gare Du Nord. There, I ran to the Eurostar desk, bought the last available train ticket to London, and was surprised my credit card allowed me to buy First Class. God bless overdrawing!

Arriving in London without a phone, internet access or any contact numbers, I decided to chance it and go straight to the screening location.
“Hi!” I yelled at a girl walking past the reception desk, startling her. My words came out in a rush, “I’mAliciaIwassupposedtobeatthe6pmscreeningbutImissedmyplane hadtocatchtheEurostarandmyinterviewsareonTuesdayI’msosorrysosorry!”
“It’s ok,” she said, taken aback at my panic, “There is another screening in ten minutes. We can fit you into that.”
“THANKYOU!” I yelled, a little too loudly.

At midnight I finally arrived at my friend Erin’s flat, she was in a panic as I was hours late, and no one had heard from me since I left Kate’s apartment in Paris. Not to mention my other poor friend who was left waiting in London after I promised to meet him for an 8:30pm dinner. Erin made me a nice cup of tea, smiled, and said…“Oh Leash.”

It’s not the idea of growing older that worries me, or having wrinkles (that’s why Botox was invented), it’s more the fact that I won’t be able to have as many excuses. At my age, my mother was married and had two kids. My Facebook feed is choc-full of old school friends, smiling with husbands and babies. Even Beyonce, who shares my birthday, is married, pregnant, and owns a couple of Grammys. I like to think of her as my (slightly) more successful twin sister.

But to give myself credit, I did move overseas and somehow manage to get work, a place to stay, a great group of friends, and a car… well, after failing my first driving test for driving on the wrong side of the road. Yep, I even gave myself an “Oh Leash” on that one. At least I passed on the second try, probably because I took Kate’s advice: “Just do the opposite of everything you think you should do and you’ll be fine.” You’ll be pleased to know I use that logic at every intersection I encounter, so I stay on the correct side of the road. Though I’ll still occasionally get into my car on the passenger side, wondering where the steering wheel went. Oh Leash.

But though my Amazon wish list is overflowing with (un-purchased) books like “How To Be More Dynamic And Successful”, “Vegan Cooking For One”, and “Men Love Bitches”; maybe growing older doesn’t mean you need to have your life together. Maybe it’s more about becoming comfortable with who you are, and not as concerned that you might not fit in with the crowd. In a sea of skinny, denim short clad Hollywood girls, all who seem to have the same long Victoria’s Secret type hair extensions, I’m fine with being a curvy, short-haired, jeans and t-shirt girl. These days it’s not very often that I find myself in front of the mirror, pinching my stomach and wondering how long my hair would take to grow (never underestimate the power of repetition when that’s all you see!)

Today I was rifling through my old diary to find my confirmation number for the Green Card lottery, my heart sinking as I realised it wasn’t in there. Without it, you can’t check whether you’ve been selected to receive a US Green Card. Damn, I was sure I wrote it down. Oh Leash.
But flipping through once more, I came across an entry from September 4, 2010.
“Next year, I’ll be 30…” I had written, “So where do I want to be in one year’s time?”
Underneath there was a list of ten items I’d completely forgotten about. Scanning the list, I noticed with excitement that I had done almost all of them. “Move overseas”. Yep. “Work hard to cover all of the major film festivals, red carpets, and movie press junkets for Australian TV” Yes, yes and yes. “Get out of debt”. Done. “Travel more”. Uh-huh. I had achieved almost all of my “30 year old” goals. I couldn’t believe it. Oh Leash!
There was just one that remained un-checked. “Find Love”. Ok, I’m transferring that to my list for 31. Stay tuned.